40\u2019lara merdiven dayay\u0131nca eski foto\u011fraflardaki gen\u00e7li\u011fin ve tazeli\u011fin yava\u015f yava\u015f gitti\u011fi ile y\u00fczle\u015fiveriyorsun. \u00dcniversite y\u0131llar\u0131, evlili\u011fin ilk d\u00f6nemleri, \u00e7ocuksuz gezmeler, \u00e7ocuklu hayat ve \u015fimdiki ben. Her y\u0131l sa\u00e7lar\u0131m biraz daha beyazlam\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zlerimin alt\u0131ndaki morluklar t\u0131pk\u0131 anneminki gibi belirginle\u015fmi\u015f, g\u00fcne\u015f lekelerim artm\u0131\u015f, belim kal\u0131nla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, burnum giderek d\u00fc\u015fmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Bunlar \u00e7ok da umurumda olmayan bedenimdeki fiziksel farkl\u0131l\u0131klar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bedeni de bir makine gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek laz\u0131m, zamanla y\u0131pranacak, eskiyecek, boyas\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fclecek, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc s\u00fcrekli her yeni g\u00fcne kendini haz\u0131rlamak i\u00e7in biz fark etmesek de durmaks\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
Ya\u015f ald\u0131k\u00e7a, hele bir de 40\u2019a yakla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a olgunlu\u011fun o tatl\u0131 hali, kendini oldu\u011fu gibi kabul etme evresi \u00e7ok ya\u015fanas\u0131. 20\u2019lerde \u00fcniversite, i\u015f tela\u015fesi, 30\u2019larda evlilik-\u00e7ocuk treni, kariyer y\u00fckseli\u015fi, 40\u2019lar kim oldu\u011funu tam olarak ke\u015ffetti\u011fin, tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131n, d\u0131\u015f seslere \u00e7ok da kulak asmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131n evre bence.<\/p>\n
\u00d6mr\u00fcn uzamas\u0131 ile orta ya\u015f ve ya\u015fl\u0131 kavramlar\u0131 \u00e7ok de\u011fi\u015fti g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde<\/strong>, \u00f6nceden kad\u0131nlar zorlu ya\u015fam \u015fartlar\u0131, \u00e7ocuk do\u011furma esnas\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fcm s\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 nedeniyle ortalama 35 ya\u015f\u0131na kadar ya\u015farm\u0131\u015f. \u015eimdi ise insan hayat\u0131 uzuyor, \u00e7ocukluk ve gen\u00e7lik ya\u015f\u0131 ayn\u0131 kal\u0131rken, bundan sonraki evreler de\u011fi\u015fiyor.<\/p>\n Bu s\u0131ralar Victor Frankl\u2019\u0131n k\u00fclt eseri olan \u2018\u2019\u0130nsan\u0131n Anlam Aray\u0131\u015f\u0131\u2019\u2019 kitab\u0131n\u0131 yeniden okuyorum. \u0130nsan hayat\u0131nda, \u2018\u2019mutluluk\u2019\u2019 ve \u2018\u2019ba\u015far\u0131\u2019\u2019 birincil ama\u00e7 olmamal\u0131, se\u00e7ilen hayatta bunlar \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 olarak kendili\u011finden gelmelidir diyor. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde ise ben dahil yeni nesil t\u00fcm ebeveynlerin diline pelesenk olan bir laf var \u2018\u2019 \u00c7ocu\u011fum mutlu olsun, gerisi \u00f6nemli de\u011fil\u2019\u2019. Ama mutluluk o kadar g\u00f6receli ki, bana g\u00f6re g\u00fcne\u015fin do\u011fu\u015funu \u0131l\u0131k bir bahar seherinde izlemek, sana g\u00f6re o s\u00fcper l\u00fcks evi alabilmek.<\/p>\n Peki insan\u0131n hayattaki amac\u0131 ne olmal\u0131 ki meyvesi mutluluk ve ba\u015far\u0131 olsun? \u0130\u015fte g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn kilit sorusu bu bence. \u015eansl\u0131 olmayanlardansan; zaman\u0131nda bu sorunun cevab\u0131n\u0131 bulamay\u0131p, sadece para ve ba\u015far\u0131 i\u00e7in istemedi\u011fin bir i\u015fte \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor olabilirsin! Veya yaln\u0131z kalmamak ve \u00e7ocuk sahibi olmak i\u00e7in mant\u0131k evlili\u011fi ile mutlu a\u015f\u0131k rol\u00fcn\u00fc oynayarak, zaman kaybediyor olabilirsin!<\/p>\n \u0130\u015fte bu 40\u2019l\u0131 ya\u015flar, senin i\u00e7in \u2018\u2019organik\u2019\u2019 olmayan, oradan buradan yama yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f her t\u00fcrl\u00fc a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n at\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131llar oluyor<\/strong>; \u00f6rne\u011fin \u00e7ok iyi bir i\u015fin varken, apar topar i\u015ften ayr\u0131l\u0131p kendi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck butik i\u015fini kurman, seni \u00fczd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc halde uzun s\u00fcre devam etmekte \u0131srarc\u0131 oldu\u011fu evlili\u011finden, ba\u015fkalar\u0131na g\u00f6re sebepsizce ayr\u0131lman olabilir. Ya da bu cesareti g\u00f6steremeyip, \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6rt\u00fcp, y\u00fczle\u015femeyip, i\u00e7inde b\u00fcy\u00fcyen o bo\u015fluk ile ya\u015famaya devam edenlerden olabilirsin, yani ger\u00e7ek sen’e bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc ula\u015famadan.<\/p>\n Ben bu aralar, yazma ve okuma ke\u015ffindeyim. 20’li ve 30’lu ya\u015flar\u0131ma g\u00f6re \u00e7ok daha fazla ve \u00f6znel hayallerim var! Ufak ufak ucundan \u00e7ekmeye, sesli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye, dillendirmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hayaller. Ke\u015fke bana uyan ve iyi gelen bu \u015feyleri \u00e7oook \u00f6nceden fark edebilseydim diyorum kimi zaman, ama aile y\u00f6nlendirmesi yetersiz olunca ve okulun tek tip insan yaratma modeline tam riayet etti\u011fim i\u00e7in \u00e7izginin d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kma fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131nda olamad\u0131m hi\u00e7<\/strong>. Bu y\u00fczden, \u015fu anki akl\u0131m farkl\u0131l\u0131klara, olmaz denilen \u015feylere hi\u00e7 \u00f6nyarg\u0131l\u0131 de\u011fil, yeter ki \u00fczerinde d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f ve benimsenmi\u015f olsun. Mesela benim ikiz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131mdan, k\u0131z\u0131m hem balerin, hem doktor, hem \u00f6\u011fretmen olmak istiyor, o\u011flum ise hem mucit, hem sihirbaz, hem doktor olmak istiyor. \u00c7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan\u0131z hepsi de olabilirsiniz diyorum, kendi hayatlar\u0131nda do\u011fru yolu elbet deneye yan\u0131la bulacaklar. Ama anneleri gibi 40\u2019\u0131ndan sonra olmas\u0131n m\u00fcmk\u00fcnse, \u00f6ncesinde tav\u015fan z\u0131plamas\u0131 ile yol al\u0131n\u0131rken 40\u2019\u0131ndan sonra kaplumba\u011fa h\u0131z\u0131nda ilerleyebiliyorsun hayallerine…<\/p>\n \u2022<\/p>\n Photo by\u00a0Jess Bailey<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0from\u00a0Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 40\u2019lara merdiven dayay\u0131nca eski foto\u011fraflardaki gen\u00e7li\u011fin ve tazeli\u011fin yava\u015f yava\u015f gitti\u011fi ile y\u00fczle\u015fiveriyorsun. \u00dcniversite y\u0131llar\u0131, evlili\u011fin ilk d\u00f6nemleri, \u00e7ocuksuz gezmeler, \u00e7ocuklu hayat ve \u015fimdiki ben. Her y\u0131l sa\u00e7lar\u0131m biraz daha beyazlam\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zlerimin alt\u0131ndaki morluklar t\u0131pk\u0131 anneminki gibi belirginle\u015fmi\u015f, g\u00fcne\u015f lekelerim artm\u0131\u015f, belim kal\u0131nla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, burnum giderek d\u00fc\u015fmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Bunlar \u00e7ok da umurumda olmayan bedenimdeki fiziksel farkl\u0131l\u0131klar. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":8426,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24,32],"tags":[260,499,812,814,815],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8421"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8421"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8421\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/h6>\n
Dijital Topuklar’da yaz\u0131lan yaz\u0131lar, yazar\u0131n bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 ve fikirlerini yans\u0131tmakta olup, Dijital Topuklar’\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerini temsil etmeyebilir.<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"