Annesinin, anneannesinin, teyzelerinin, babaannesinin, halas\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6fkelerini ta\u015f\u0131yarak b\u00fcy\u00fcyen bir k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu, su\u00e7luluk duymadan ya\u015fayan mutlu bir kad\u0131n olabilir mi?<\/p>\n
Ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kollektif \u00f6fkelerin ve ac\u0131lar\u0131n sahibi biz olmasak da, as\u0131l sahipleri yan\u0131m\u0131zda, yak\u0131n\u0131m\u0131zda olmasa da, onlar\u0131 g\u00f6rmedi\u011fimiz s\u00fcrece ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yorlar. Yuvalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n i\u00e7i o \u00f6fkelerin ve ac\u0131lar\u0131n birikmi\u015flikleri, sessiz \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 ile dolu\u2026<\/p>\n
Hayat\u0131mda her \u015fey g\u00fczel gidiyorken, d\u00fcnya g\u00fczeli \u00e7ocu\u011fum, \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fim bir i\u015fim, \u00e7ok doyurucu ili\u015fkilerim ile g\u00fcll\u00fck g\u00fclistanl\u0131k ya\u015farken aniden i\u00e7imden \u00e7\u0131kan tan\u0131yamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir kad\u0131n olunca fark etmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m o \u00f6fkeyi. Nerden geliyordu bu \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k, o ses benim de\u011fil\u2026 Bu sesin y\u00fckselme sebebi, bu omuzlar\u0131mdan, boynumdan gelen gerginlik, bu par\u00e7alama, da\u011f\u0131tma hissi nerden geliyordu?<\/p>\n
Sonra okumalar\u0131mda, bilge insanlar\u0131n (baz\u0131lar\u0131 erkek oldu\u011fu halde) ayn\u0131 kollektif \u00f6fkeden bahsetti\u011fini g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Y\u0131llar boyunca ezilmi\u015f, ikinci cins olarak g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, sesini \u00e7\u0131karamam\u0131\u015f, \u00f6fkesini ya\u015fayamam\u0131\u015f t\u00fcm kad\u0131n akrabalar\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6fkesi bende ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu.<\/strong> Onlar\u0131n haklar\u0131n\u0131 koruyamay\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n, ba\u011f\u0131ramay\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n sesi \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumdan itibaren bende yank\u0131 bulmu\u015ftu. Ama b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcp de kad\u0131n olunca olmad\u0131k yerde ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu yank\u0131\u2026 D\u00fcnyada en \u00e7ok tolere etmeye g\u00f6n\u00fclden raz\u0131 oldu\u011fum ki\u015fide: \u00e7ocu\u011fumda\u2026<\/p>\n \u00d6fkemle \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a, \u00f6fkemle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmalar\u0131mda kalabildik\u00e7e bunu anlamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Ben \u015fimdi, burada olana \u00f6fkeli de\u011fildim ki; ben ezilen annemin ordan \u00e7\u0131kamay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7aresizli\u011finin, ben mutfaktan \u00e7\u0131kmadan \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc bitiren babaannemin ya\u015fayamad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n, ben dayak yiyen, aldat\u0131lan teyzemin “Kocamd\u0131r, ne yapsa kabul\u00fcmd\u00fcr”<\/em> deyi\u015finin sahibiydim. Her \u015feyi kabul edip, i\u00e7inde saklay\u0131p g\u00f6zleriyle ve kalbiyle yan\u0131ndaki \u00e7ocu\u011fa aktaran kad\u0131nlar\u0131n \u00f6fkesinin sahibiydim.<\/p>\n Ac\u0131lar\u0131 ac\u0131md\u0131. Onlar kabul etmedik\u00e7e sonraki nesillere mirast\u0131. Ama bu miras\u0131 ben istemedim\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n Bu \u00f6fkeleri ayr\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k\u00e7a ortaya \u00e7\u0131kma alanlar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fti. Art\u0131k \u00e7ocu\u011fumlayken beni ziyaret etmiyordu. Ama erkekler konu olunca bir h\u0131rs ve k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k \u00f6fkesi h\u00e2l\u00e2 vard\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc d\u00fczen onlar i\u00e7in yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ya\u015fam onlar i\u00e7in kurulmu\u015ftu. Kad\u0131n, y\u00fczy\u0131llar boyunca erkek rahat etsin ve rahat ya\u015fas\u0131n diye vard\u0131. Bu imtiyazlara sahip bir cinse hizmet ederken \u00f6fke biriktirmemek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olabilir miydi? Sevgi emekti, emek ise kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6reviydi.<\/p>\n Bu \u00f6fkeyi de g\u00f6rmeye ve anlamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Hay\u0131r, bu da bana ait de\u011fildi. Benim ili\u015fkilerimde ben aciz veya ma\u011fdur de\u011fildim. G\u00fcc\u00fcm elimdeydi, hakk\u0131m ve eme\u011fim bana aitti. T\u00fcm erkekler zalim de\u011fildi<\/strong>. Ben bunu g\u00f6rd\u00fck\u00e7e, o \u00f6fke de d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Toplumsal veriler aksini ortaya koysa da, benim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fcnyamda erkekler ve d\u00fcnya g\u00fcven duyulabilir bir yer haline gelmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n Peki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z, ana-atalar\u0131n t\u00fcm o ac\u0131lar\u0131 ya\u015fand\u0131ktan sonra, sen mutlu olmay\u0131 nas\u0131l hak edebilirsin ki?<\/p>\n Hi\u00e7birinin hayat\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmenin elinde olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, onlar\u0131 kurtaramayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, kurtarma g\u00f6revinin de sana ait olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kabul ederek\u2026<\/p>\n K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuk g\u00f6zlerinle g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn her ac\u0131n\u0131n yas\u0131n\u0131 sen tutamazs\u0131n. Annenin annesi olamazs\u0131n. B\u0131rak o yaslar\u0131, o ac\u0131lar\u0131 ya\u015fayanlara\u2026 Senin mutlulu\u011funun bedeli onlar\u0131n tutulmam\u0131\u015f yaslar\u0131 de\u011fil<\/strong>. Senin mutlulu\u011fun, senin eserin\u2026 Tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmak da senin g\u00f6revin, kendine borcun.<\/p>\n Senden \u00f6nceki kad\u0131nlar\u0131n sahip oldu\u011fundan daha g\u00fczel bir hayat\u0131 yaratabilmenin m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funu kendine g\u00f6sterdin, i\u015fte art\u0131k onun tad\u0131n\u0131 da \u00e7\u0131karabilirsin.<\/p>\n \u00c7ok \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in, \u00e7ok \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm bir \u00f6mr\u00fc ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6ylediklerine g\u00f6re ve ba\u015fkalar\u0131 u\u011fruna ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in\u2026<\/p>\n \u00c7ok \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm onlar\u0131 kimse ve kendileri de kurtaramad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in\u2026<\/p>\n Ben onlar\u0131n da bendeki eme\u011fiyle, kendim olarak yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m mutlulu\u011fu kabul ediyorum, hak ediyorum, se\u00e7iyorum.<\/p>\n Ve hepimizi seviyorum.<\/p>\n \u2022<\/p>\n Photo by\u00a0Joshua Abner<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0from\u00a0Pexels<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Annesinin, anneannesinin, teyzelerinin, babaannesinin, halas\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6fkelerini ta\u015f\u0131yarak b\u00fcy\u00fcyen bir k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu, su\u00e7luluk duymadan ya\u015fayan mutlu bir kad\u0131n olabilir mi? Ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kollektif \u00f6fkelerin ve ac\u0131lar\u0131n sahibi biz olmasak da, as\u0131l sahipleri yan\u0131m\u0131zda, yak\u0131n\u0131m\u0131zda olmasa da, onlar\u0131 g\u00f6rmedi\u011fimiz s\u00fcrece ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yorlar. Yuvalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n i\u00e7i o \u00f6fkelerin ve ac\u0131lar\u0131n birikmi\u015flikleri, sessiz \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 ile dolu\u2026 Hayat\u0131mda her \u015fey g\u00fczel gidiyorken, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8366,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15,41],"tags":[64,260,332,499],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8363"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8363"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8363\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/h6>\n
Dijital Topuklar’da yaz\u0131lan yaz\u0131lar, yazar\u0131n bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 ve fikirlerini yans\u0131tmakta olup, Dijital Topuklar’\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerini temsil etmeyebilir.<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"