{"id":8236,"date":"2020-04-09T17:05:27","date_gmt":"2020-04-09T14:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dijitaltopuklar.com\/?p=8236"},"modified":"2020-04-09T17:05:27","modified_gmt":"2020-04-09T14:05:27","slug":"zor-gunler-icin-mutluluk-tasarruf-hesabi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/2020\/04\/zor-gunler-icin-mutluluk-tasarruf-hesabi\/","title":{"rendered":"Zor G\u00fcnler i\u00e7in Mutluluk Tasarruf Hesab\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Bug\u00fcnlerde en \u00e7ok \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumu \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum. S\u0131k s\u0131k, her \u015feye a\u011fl\u0131yorum. K\u0131z\u0131m \u201cG\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc Ailesi\u201d izliyor, \u00e7izgi film kahraman\u0131 karde\u015fine sar\u0131l\u0131yor, a\u011fl\u0131yorum; Leyla Gencer belgeseli izlerken a\u011fl\u0131yorum, Instagramda bir ev sahibinin deste\u011fini anlatan payla\u015f\u0131m\u0131 okuyor a\u011fl\u0131yorum, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 dinliyor yine a\u011fl\u0131yorum. Ba\u015flarda k\u0131z\u0131mdan saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum, ama ipin ucu ka\u00e7t\u0131, art\u0131k yan\u0131nda a\u011fl\u0131yorum. \u0130lk d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncem <em>\u201cAman a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6rmesin, korkmas\u0131n, endi\u015felenmesin<\/em>\u201d idi. Art\u0131k farkl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum: \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck bir hayat olay\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131yorum, korkuyorum, \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum, tedirginim ve a\u011flamam normal, \u00fcz\u00fclmem normal, korkmam normal. B\u00fcy\u00fck s\u0131navlardan ge\u00e7erken her \u015feye ra\u011fmen g\u00fcl\u00fcyor gibi yapan bir annesi mi olsun, duygular\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fayan bir annesi mi? Ben -ilkine art\u0131k g\u00fcc\u00fcm kalmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan belki de- ikinciyi se\u00e7iyorum. Tabii g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 bitince konu\u015fuyoruz, ona anlat\u0131yorum, bunun da ge\u00e7ece\u011fini, sab\u0131rla ve beraber atlataca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131. Ama bizim evde \u201cher \u015fey yolunda\u201d yalan\u0131na yer yok.<br \/>\nHi\u00e7bir \u015fey yolunda de\u011fil.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7ocukluk an\u0131lar\u0131mda K\u00f6rfez Sava\u015f\u0131 var, Adana\u2019da geceleri \u0130ncirlik\u2019ten kalkan bomba y\u00fckl\u00fc sava\u015f u\u00e7aklar\u0131n\u0131n inleyerek u\u00e7u\u015funu dinledi\u011fimiz geceler; okulda kimyasal silah sald\u0131r\u0131s\u0131 olursa ne yapmam\u0131z gerekti\u011finin anlat\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131; gece \u00e7alan sirenler ve babam\u0131n panikle iki sigara birden yakm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rmem, amcam\u0131n engelli teyzemin nerede oldu\u011funu o an engelli teyzemi kuca\u011f\u0131nda tutan di\u011fer teyzeme soru\u015fu, polisin sokakta s\u0131\u011f\u0131na\u011fa gidin diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131..<\/p>\n<p>Daha k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken Ankara\u2019da ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m darbe&#8230; Teyzemle sokakta sa\u011f ve sol gruplar\u0131n kavgas\u0131nda arada kal\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z, o birbirine do\u011fru ko\u015fan insanlar\u0131n dev gibi ve y\u00fczlerce olu\u015flar\u0131, y\u00fczlerindeki \u00f6fke ve ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131&#8230; Teyzemin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck karde\u015fimi kuca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131p beni elimden s\u00fcr\u00fckleyerek canh\u0131ra\u015f ko\u015fu\u015fu&#8230; Annemin anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hat\u0131ralar, \u00fcniversitede karn\u0131 burnunda hamile ders anlat\u0131rken militanlar\u0131n silahlarla amfiyi basmas\u0131, \u00f6\u011frencilerinin annemi pencereden ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131.. Haf\u0131zas\u0131 berbat olan ben, bunlar\u0131 d\u00fcn gibi hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum \u00e7ocuklu\u011fuma dair. Diyorum ki bizim \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n belleklerine de bug\u00fcnler kaz\u0131n\u0131yor.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7ocuklukta ya\u015fananlarla da bitmiyor tabii, vatan evlad\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fccadelesi: ter\u00f6r olaylar\u0131, bombalar, ekonomik krizler, \u015fehitler, depremler.. Sonra Gezi, ahh o gezi. Ellerim titreyerek, v\u00fccudum sallanarak tweet okuyu\u015flar\u0131m, gencecik canlara yan\u0131\u015flar\u0131m.. Bireysel tarihimdeki b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ac\u0131y\u0131, annemi kaybedi\u015fimizi saym\u0131yorum bile.<\/p>\n<p>Bunca \u015feyin \u00fcst\u00fcne bir D\u00fcnya Sava\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz eksikti derken \u201cD\u00fcnya\u2019n\u0131n Sava\u015f\u0131\u201d na denk geldik. Sevdiklerimizden, insan s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden, denizden, \u00e7i\u00e7ekten, b\u00f6cekten, bahardan ayr\u0131.. Gelecek \u00f6yle sisli ki, ne geliyor g\u00f6remiyoruz. Hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131 atlat\u0131r m\u0131y\u0131z? Hastal\u0131ktan sonra? Bir i\u015fimiz olur mu? Sadece biz de\u011fil, insanlar koyabilir mi sofralar\u0131na birer ekmek?<\/p>\n<p>S\u00f6z bitmez, diyece\u011fim o ki, zorlar geldi bizi buldu. Teslim olup ucunu b\u0131rakacak de\u011filiz, bir \u015feyler \u00f6\u011frenip, birazc\u0131k olsun \u201colup\u201d \u00e7\u0131kmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131z, evet. M\u00fccadele edece\u011fiz ama, kolay de\u011fil, hi\u00e7 kolay de\u011fil. Bunu ba\u011f\u0131rarak s\u00f6yleyebiliriz: \u00e7ok zor, y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yorum, yaralan\u0131yorum. Yaln\u0131z oldu\u011funuzu san\u0131yorsan\u0131z i\u015fte ben burada s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum, de\u011filsiniz, bu \u00e7ok zor ve bu zorda beraberiz. Y\u0131k\u0131lmak da beraber sonra y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131verdi\u011fin yerden kalmak da. Ge\u00e7mi\u015fte ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z t\u00fcm o g\u00fczellikler var ya, kalbimizde birikmi\u015f olanlar, zor g\u00fcnler i\u00e7in mutluluk tasarruf hesab\u0131. Oradan bozdurup yiyece\u011fiz bir s\u00fcre. Sonra g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler tekrar geldi\u011finde ufak ufak koyar\u0131z yine bir kenara. Haydi, gazam\u0131z m\u00fcbarek olsun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bug\u00fcnlerde en \u00e7ok \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumu \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum. S\u0131k s\u0131k, her \u015feye a\u011fl\u0131yorum. K\u0131z\u0131m \u201cG\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc Ailesi\u201d izliyor, \u00e7izgi film kahraman\u0131 karde\u015fine sar\u0131l\u0131yor, a\u011fl\u0131yorum; Leyla Gencer belgeseli izlerken a\u011fl\u0131yorum, Instagramda bir ev sahibinin deste\u011fini anlatan payla\u015f\u0131m\u0131 okuyor a\u011fl\u0131yorum, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 dinliyor yine a\u011fl\u0131yorum. Ba\u015flarda k\u0131z\u0131mdan saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum, ama ipin ucu ka\u00e7t\u0131, art\u0131k yan\u0131nda a\u011fl\u0131yorum. \u0130lk d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncem \u201cAman a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6rmesin, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":8237,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,41],"tags":[260,295,501,502],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8236"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8236"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8236\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}