{"id":7753,"date":"2019-05-19T17:59:29","date_gmt":"2019-05-19T14:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dijitaltopuklar.com\/?p=7753"},"modified":"2019-05-19T17:59:29","modified_gmt":"2019-05-19T14:59:29","slug":"masumiyet-nasil-calinir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/2019\/05\/masumiyet-nasil-calinir\/","title":{"rendered":"Masumiyet Nas\u0131l \u00c7al\u0131n\u0131r?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cEskiden zaman ba\u015fkayd\u0131, kom\u015fuluk vard\u0131, kom\u015fuya\/akrabaya \u00e7ocuk emanet etmek vard\u0131, insanlar g\u00fcvenilirdi. \u015eimdi kimseye g\u00fcvenilmiyor\u201d<\/em> benzeri laflar dilimize pelesenk oldu. Her f\u0131rsatta konu\u015fuyoruz ya, yanl\u0131\u015f. Eskiden de ortal\u0131k berbatt\u0131, eskiden de insanlar g\u00fcvenilmezdi. Sadece eskiden sosyal medya yoktu, \u00fczeri \u00f6rt\u00fclen istismar, susturulan \u00e7ocuk, maruz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyi anlamland\u0131r\u0131lamayan\/anlatamayan \u00e7ocuk vard\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir okurumdan mesaj ald\u0131m. \u00c7ocukken akrabas\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan taciz edildi\u011fini annesine anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, annesi ona inanmam\u0131\u015f. \u0130nanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi ortal\u0131k yerde konu\u015fmamas\u0131, bunu ba\u015fkalar\u0131na anlatmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in tembih etmi\u015f. Bug\u00fcn yeti\u015fkin bir kad\u0131n olarak evlat sahibi olan okurum, o talihsiz olay\u0131n izlerini hala kalbinde ta\u015f\u0131makta. Evlili\u011fi ve insan ili\u015fkileri zarar g\u00f6rmekte. \u201cKe\u015fke annem o zaman elindeki bula\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p beni dinleseydi, ke\u015fke bana inansayd\u0131\u201d<\/em> diye bitirdi mesaj\u0131n\u0131.<\/p>\n

O okurumun yaln\u0131z olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, kendisi gibi i\u00e7inde yaral\u0131 \u00e7ocuk ta\u015f\u0131yan y\u00fczlerce, binlerce kad\u0131n oldu\u011funa ad\u0131m gibi emindim. Okurumun da izniyle, ismini gizleyerek mesaj\u0131n\u0131 Instagram hesab\u0131mda payla\u015ft\u0131m. \u00a0O payla\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u00fczerine g\u00fcnlerce mesaj ya\u011fd\u0131 bana. Amcas\u0131, day\u0131s\u0131, kuzeni, abisi, kom\u015fusu, arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n babas\u0131, babas\u0131n\u0131n arkada\u015f\u0131, \u00f6z babas\u0131 ve hatta halas\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan istismar edilen kad\u0131nlar, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 yazd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Kimisi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu anlamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bile. Her \u015feyi idrak edecek ya\u015fa geldi\u011findeyse i\u015f i\u015ften ge\u00e7mi\u015fti ve ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bir \u00f6m\u00fcr ta\u015f\u0131mak zorunda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/strong> Kimisi anlatmak istemi\u015fti, \u00f6fkeyle\/\u015fiddetle susturulmu\u015ftu. B\u00fcy\u00fcklerini inand\u0131ramam\u0131\u015f, \u2018yanl\u0131\u015f anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131\u2019 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Bir kere susturuldu mu \u00e7ocuk, bir daha konu\u015fmaz art\u0131k. Ma\u011fdur olan \u00e7ocuklar da sonradan konu\u015fmamay\u0131 se\u00e7mi\u015fti. \u00a0Kimisi annesine sesini bile duyuramam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. O kadar \u00e7ok i\u015f y\u00fck\u00fc vard\u0131 ki annelerin s\u0131rt\u0131nda, \u00e7ocu\u011fun hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 duymam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bile.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcn istismar edilen \u00e7ocuk b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc,\u00a0 kad\u0131n oldu ve yuva kurdu. E\u015fiyle birlikteli\u011finde sorun ya\u015fad\u0131, psikolojik destek almak zorunda kald\u0131. \u00c7ocuklu\u011funda a\u00e7\u0131lan yara kapanmad\u0131, kapanmaz. \u0130nsan\u0131n bir yan\u0131 hep ac\u0131r, hep s\u0131zlar. Baz\u0131 yaralar ge\u00e7ecek t\u00fcrden de\u011fildir \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pat\u0131r pat\u0131r \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcyor \u00e7ocuklar. Senin sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n teline k\u0131yamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n yavruna k\u0131yabiliyor, vaktiyle \u2018masum bebek\u2019 olan bir ba\u015fkas\u0131. S\u00f6z konusu masum bir cansa, h\u00fcmanizm kifayetini yitiriyor. Ben de cayd\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ve a\u011f\u0131r cezalar verilmedik\u00e7e i\u015flerin daha k\u00f6t\u00fcye gidece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Daha \u00e7ok \u00e7ocu\u011fun, \u00e7ok kad\u0131n\u0131n can\u0131 yanacak.<\/p>\n

Vaktiyle masum bir bebekti, b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc tecav\u00fczc\u00fc oldu, katil oldu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bebe\u011fe bak\u0131p pis hayaller kuracak kadar \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 insanl\u0131ktan. B\u00fcy\u00fcrken ne oldu, neye maruz kald\u0131? Ne ya\u015fad\u0131 da bu hale geldi, anas\u0131 babas\u0131 nas\u0131l yeti\u015ftirdi onu? Niye? Onu bu hale getiren sebepler nedir? Cani do\u011fulmaz, cani olunur kan\u0131s\u0131nday\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bir cani nas\u0131l yeti\u015ftirilir? Peki bir kurban nas\u0131l yeti\u015fir, k\u0131z \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 sindirilir, ezilir?<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklar\u0131 dinlemek, onlara iyice kulak vermek laz\u0131m.\u00a0 Herhangi bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u201cH\u0131 h\u0131, tamam, evet, anlad\u0131m\u201d<\/em> diyerek, dinliyor g\u00f6r\u00fcnerek, elimizdeki telefonu kurcalarken, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz hala televizyondayken de\u011fil; \u00e7ocu\u011fu \u00a0can kula\u011f\u0131yla dinlemek, onun anlatt\u0131klar\u0131yla ilgilenmek laz\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u2018Namus\u2019 kavram\u0131 sadece kad\u0131nlara ait bir olgu de\u011fildir. \u2018Namus\u2019 dedi\u011fin sadece bacak aras\u0131nda olan bir olgu da de\u011fildir. \u0130nsan\u0131n \u2018zihninde\u2019 aranmal\u0131d\u0131r namus.<\/p>\n

K\u0131z \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 \u201cD\u00fczg\u00fcn otur, bacaklar\u0131n\u0131 kapat, ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 uzatma, han\u0131m han\u0131mc\u0131k ol, erkeklerle konu\u015fma, y\u00fcksek sesle g\u00fclme\u201d<\/em> diye b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcl\u00fcrken, o\u011flan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 \u201cAslan o\u011flum, erkek o\u011flum, g\u00f6ster hadi pipiyi, a\u00e7 a\u00e7 g\u00f6rs\u00fcnler, utanma\u201d<\/em> diye b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcld\u00fc. Neden?<\/p>\n

Benimki namus da, seninki ne? Bana g\u00fcnahsa sana sevap m\u0131? Ondan sonra metroda, otob\u00fcste bacaklar\u0131n\u0131 iki yana ay\u0131r\u0131p oturan, mal\u0131n\u0131 milletin g\u00f6z\u00fcne sokmaktan \u00e7ekinmeyen \u2018adam\u2019lar\u0131n yan\u0131nda iki b\u00fckl\u00fcm oturmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz. \u00dcstelik \u00f6yle iliklerimize i\u015flemi\u015f ki \u2018erkektir\u2019<\/em> meselesi. Ben ki fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcksek bir kad\u0131n\u0131m, iki evlad\u0131m\u0131 da k\u0131z\/o\u011flan ayr\u0131m\u0131 yapmadan, onlar\u0131n mahremiyetini koruyarak \u00f6zenle yeti\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum; Civan bir ya\u015f\u0131na yeni girmi\u015fti san\u0131r\u0131m. Bezini de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in alt\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131mda elini pipisine g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bu hareketi komik buldum ve g\u00fcld\u00fcm. Sonra ayn\u0131 hareketi Cemre yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda verdi\u011fim tepki geldi akl\u0131ma. Silkelendim, kendime geldim ve Civan ne zaman elini pipisine g\u00f6t\u00fcrse, onu uyard\u0131m, izin vermedim. Bu durumdan ne kadar rahats\u0131z oldu\u011fumu, nas\u0131l \u00f6n\u00fcne ge\u00e7ebilece\u011fimi b\u00fcy\u00fcklerime dan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m cevap hep ayn\u0131yd\u0131;<\/p>\n

\u201cK\u0131z\u0131m erkektir o normal, ‘erkek’ \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 yapar \u00f6yle.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u0131r efendim neden normal olsun? \u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle b\u00f6yle o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011funun bebeklikten itibaren her hareketini normal olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz i\u00e7in, toplum \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor z\u0131vanadan. K\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011funu ne kadar bask\u0131 alt\u0131nda tutuyorsak o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011funu o kadar serbest b\u0131rak\u0131yoruz. \u00a0\u0130nan\u00e7\/sa\u011fl\u0131k gere\u011fi \u2018pipi\u2019nin ucundan et par\u00e7as\u0131 al\u0131nd\u0131 diye yedi d\u00fcvele duyuruyoruz. \u00c7al\u0131p oynuyor, \u015fenlikler d\u00fczenliyoruz. Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131na i\u015fliyoruz \u00e7ocu\u011fun;<\/p>\n

\u201cPipi \u00f6nemlidir, pipi her \u015feydir, pipi senin \u015fan\u0131nd\u0131r\u201d S\u00fcnnet arabalar\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131na yaz\u0131lan bir yaz\u0131lar var, ak\u0131llara zarar:<\/p>\n

Bir tecav\u00fczc\u00fc kolay yeti\u015fmiyor,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00dcz\u00fclmeyin k\u0131zlar hepsini kestirmedim.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bu nedir ya? Ama\u00e7 ne? Niye?<\/p>\n

\u201cYok art\u0131k abartt\u0131n sen de alt taraf\u0131 bir s\u00fcnnet d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnecek olursan pe\u015finen uyaray\u0131m;<\/p>\n

Mesele sadece d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn meselesi de\u011fil. Zaten bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n kast\u0131 da yaln\u0131zca \u2018pipi\u2019 de\u011fil. \u0130\u015fin \u00f6z\u00fc \u015fu; Zaman\u0131nda o\u011flan evlad\u0131ndan sak\u0131nan \u201cmahremiyet\u201d \u00a0gelecekte bir ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n \u2018can\u2019\u0131na mal olabiliyor. O\u011flan evlad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n da \u2018mahremiyet\u2019 ine sayg\u0131 duymay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmemiz ve sa\u00e7ma \u015fekilde \u00e7ocu\u011fumuzun pipisiyle gurur duymaya bir son vermemiz gerekiyor!<\/p>\n

\u2666<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cEskiden zaman ba\u015fkayd\u0131, kom\u015fuluk vard\u0131, kom\u015fuya\/akrabaya \u00e7ocuk emanet etmek vard\u0131, insanlar g\u00fcvenilirdi. \u015eimdi kimseye g\u00fcvenilmiyor\u201d benzeri laflar dilimize pelesenk oldu. Her f\u0131rsatta konu\u015fuyoruz ya, yanl\u0131\u015f. Eskiden de ortal\u0131k berbatt\u0131, eskiden de insanlar g\u00fcvenilmezdi. Sadece eskiden sosyal medya yoktu, \u00fczeri \u00f6rt\u00fclen istismar, susturulan \u00e7ocuk, maruz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyi anlamland\u0131r\u0131lamayan\/anlatamayan \u00e7ocuk vard\u0131. Bir okurumdan mesaj ald\u0131m. \u00c7ocukken akrabas\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":7754,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,39,41],"tags":[195,260,499,537,602,753],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7753"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/112"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7753"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7753\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}