{"id":7600,"date":"2019-03-06T15:53:04","date_gmt":"2019-03-06T12:53:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dijitaltopuklar.com\/?p=7600"},"modified":"2019-03-06T15:53:04","modified_gmt":"2019-03-06T12:53:04","slug":"gokyuzumde-bir-yildiz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/2019\/03\/gokyuzumde-bir-yildiz\/","title":{"rendered":"G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcmde Bir Y\u0131ld\u0131z"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tek ba\u015f\u0131na Londra\u2019ya foto\u011fraf e\u011fitimi almaya gitmi\u015f, orada e\u011fitimini tamamlay\u0131p tiyatrolarda foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131 olarak \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, ilk sergisinde eserlerinin tamam\u0131 sat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, G\u00fcney Avrupa\u2019da bir seyahate \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131na devam etmi\u015f, \u0130ngiltere\u2019de tam be\u015f sergi a\u00e7t\u0131ktan sonra \u00fclkesine d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f bir T\u00fcrk kad\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde bile etkileyici bir hik\u00e2ye, de\u011fil mi? <\/em><\/h3>\n

Bir de bu kad\u0131n\u0131n t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 foto\u011fraf\u0131n daha yeni yeni sanat olarak kabul edildi\u011fi 1950\u2019lerde yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hayal edin. Hayran olmamak elde de\u011fil! Ben de ad\u0131n\u0131 duydu\u011fum ama eserlerine ve \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcne vak\u0131f olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m Y\u0131ld\u0131z Moran<\/strong> ile \u0130stanbul Modern\u2019in \u201cY\u0131ld\u0131z Moran: Bir Da\u011f Masal\u0131\u201d<\/strong> sergisinde tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Sergilenen her foto\u011fraf\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde m\u0131h gibi \u00e7ak\u0131ld\u0131m. Fakat beni as\u0131l etkileyen azim, cesaret ve yarat\u0131c\u0131l\u0131kla dolu ya\u015fam \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcyd\u00fc. Foto\u011frafla u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 on iki senede yapt\u0131klar\u0131 kendi g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc bir y\u0131ld\u0131z gibi ayd\u0131nlatt\u0131.<\/p>\n

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D\u00f6rt duvara dizilmi\u015f; yan yana, alt alta, \u00fcst \u00fcste sergilenen foto\u011fraflarda y\u00fczler var; duygusunu gizlemeyen, apa\u00e7\u0131k, d\u00fcr\u00fcst\u2026 Anadolu var; insanlar\u0131yla, gelenekleriyle, yoksullu\u011fu ve yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ama g\u00fczelli\u011fiyle\u2026 Olu\u015flar var; detaylar, \u00e7ok ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i ama ger\u00e7e\u011fin en yal\u0131n, etkileyici, b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc haliyle\u2026 T\u00fcrkiye\u2019nin akademik e\u011fitim alan ilk foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ym\u0131\u015f Y\u0131ld\u0131z. \u015ea\u015f\u0131rm\u0131yorum. Tarz\u0131n, tekni\u011fin; belirli bir tutku ve bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yla birle\u015fmesi 86 an ile duruyor i\u015fte kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda.<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye d\u00f6nd\u00fckten sonra Anadolu\u2019yu kar\u0131\u015f kar\u0131\u015f gezmi\u015f, sergideki pek \u00e7ok foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 da bu gezi s\u0131ras\u0131nda \u00e7ekmi\u015f. Fakat \u0130ngiltere\u2019de dikkat \u00e7eken ve para kazanabilen gen\u00e7 bir sanat\u00e7\u0131 olan Y\u0131ld\u0131z kendi topraklar\u0131nda ge\u00e7im s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f. Akl\u0131na Anadolu\u2019da \u00e7ekti\u011fi ama satamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 foto\u011fraflar\u0131n\u0131 kartpostal yap\u0131p satmak gelmi\u015f; bu da onun yolunu matbaac\u0131l\u0131k yapan \u00fcnl\u00fc bir \u015fairle, \u00d6zdemir Asaf ile kesi\u015ftirmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u201cTam umutsuzlu\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fken, bir arkada\u015f\u0131m \u00d6zdemir Asaf\u2019\u0131 \u00f6nerdi. Hem \u015f\u00e2irdir, hem de titiz ve g\u00fczel bask\u0131lar yapar dedi. \u0130\u015f konu\u015fmak i\u00e7in \u00d6zdemir Asaf\u2019\u0131n matbaas\u0131na gittim. Tarihini de verebilirim tan\u0131\u015fmam\u0131z\u0131n; 4 Kas\u0131m 1954, saat: 11.00. Kelimelerle dile getirmek zor. Duygulu, kibar, hi\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fclmemi\u015f ve bir daha g\u00f6remeyece\u011fim bir insand\u0131 \u00d6zdemir Asaf. P\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l bir zek\u00e2, renkli, yepyeni, bamba\u015fka bir d\u00fcnyayd\u0131 o. Ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc bir insand\u0131 k\u0131sacas\u0131\u2026\u201d<\/em> diye anlatm\u0131\u015f Y\u0131ld\u0131z Moran tan\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131. Romantik, tutkulu, film gibi; sanki hayat\u0131 boyunca ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131yla birbirlerine haz\u0131rland\u0131klar\u0131, y\u00f6nelmi\u015f iki sanat\u00e7\u0131\u2026 Y\u0131ld\u0131z, \u015fairin ilk evlili\u011finden olan k\u0131z\u0131 Seda\u2019ya \u201c\u0130nan, \u00d6zdemir\u2019i tan\u0131d\u0131ktan sonra ikinci saniye bile \u00e7ok ge\u00e7ti.\u201d<\/em> demi\u015f. Zaten kavu\u015ftuktan sonra, \u00d6zdemir Asaf vefat edene kadar hi\u00e7 ayr\u0131lmam\u0131\u015flar.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

B\u00fcy\u00fck yetenek, azim, e\u011fitim, s\u0131ra d\u0131\u015f\u0131 bir kariyer \u00fczerine gelen \u015fahane bir a\u015fk\u2026 Bir kad\u0131n daha ne ister? Anne olmay\u0131! \u0130\u015fte bu noktada Y\u0131ld\u0131z Moran\u2019\u0131n hayat\u0131nda bir de\u011fi\u015fiklik olmu\u015f. Art arda \u00fc\u00e7 o\u011flu olduktan sonra foto\u011frafa bir daha hi\u00e7 d\u00f6nmemi\u015f. Hep \u00fcretmeye devam etmi\u015f, \u00f6rne\u011fin \u00d6zdemir Asaf\u2019\u0131n kitaplar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7evirilerini yapm\u0131\u015f, yine s\u00f6zl\u00fckler haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f. Sanat\u0131 b\u0131rakmas\u0131n\u0131n sebebini \u00e7ok net bir \u015fekilde a\u00e7\u0131klam\u0131\u015f:<\/p>\n

\u201c-E\u011fitimini g\u00f6r\u00fcp, uzun y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 verdi\u011finiz foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 nas\u0131l b\u0131rakt\u0131n\u0131z?<\/em><\/p>\n

-Birden 24 saatimi bu konuya m\u0131 verece\u011fim, yoksa daha \u00f6nemli konular var m\u0131 benim i\u00e7in diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Daha \u00f6nemli \u015feyler oldu\u011funa karar verdim ve 12 y\u0131l sonra b\u0131rakt\u0131m bu i\u015fi.<\/em><\/p>\n

-Daha \u00f6nemli olan \u015feyler neydi?<\/em><\/p>\n

-Evlili\u011fim ve \u00e7ocuklar. \u00d6zdemir Asaf gibi bir baba bulmu\u015fsa bir insan ba\u015fka ne yapabilir? D\u00f6rt y\u0131l i\u00e7inde \u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7ocuk sahibi oldum ve art\u0131k t\u00fcm 24 saatlerimi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma adad\u0131m.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Okuyunca sizin de i\u00e7iniz benim gibi c\u0131z etti mi? Son \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131lda, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan anne de oldum, \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla daha fazla vakit ge\u00e7irmek i\u00e7in kariyerine ara veren anne de\u2026 Anneli\u011fin bu en b\u00fcy\u00fck ikilemini dibine kadar ya\u015fad\u0131m, sorumluluklar\u0131 dengelerken zorland\u0131m, zorlan\u0131yorum. Kendini yazarak ifade eden, yarat\u0131c\u0131 s\u00fcre\u00e7lere a\u015fina biri olarak; sanatla profesyonel me\u015fgul olman\u0131n ba\u015fka herhangi bir meslek dal\u0131na oranla daha zor oldu\u011funu tahmin ediyorum. Kendimi ister istemez Y\u0131ld\u0131z Moran\u2019\u0131n yerine koyuyorum. Her g\u00fcn \u015fu saatler i\u00e7inde foto\u011fraf \u00e7ekip \u015fu saatte basaca\u011f\u0131m demenin yetmeyece\u011fini; ger\u00e7ekten istedi\u011fi foto\u011fraflar\u0131 \u00e7ekebilmek i\u00e7in hep foto\u011fraf d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmesi, kendini yine yollara vurmas\u0131, yarat\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli beslemesi gerekti\u011fini, yoksa eski performans\u0131na ula\u015famayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ondan iyi kim bilebilirdi? Bir \u015feyi eksik, yar\u0131m yapmaktansa hi\u00e7 yapmamay\u0131 se\u00e7mi\u015fti muhtemelen. Belki ailesinden, yak\u0131nlar\u0131ndan destek alam\u0131yordu \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrken; pek \u00e7o\u011fumuz gibi bir ba\u015f\u0131nayd\u0131. \u0130ngiltere\u2019de t\u00fcm eserlerini satm\u0131\u015fken T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de foto\u011fraftan para kazanamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da evlenmeden \u00f6nce anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Cesaret k\u0131r\u0131c\u0131, insan\u0131 yeni me\u015fgaleler bulup farkl\u0131 bir hayat kurmaya iten \u00e7ok \u015fey var gibi hikayesinde. Yine de \u201c\u2026 art\u0131k t\u00fcm 24 saatlerimi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ma adad\u0131m\u2026\u201d<\/em> ifadesindeki \u015f\u00fcphe g\u00f6t\u00fcrmez kesinli\u011fin arkas\u0131nda baz\u0131 \u201cke\u015fke\u201dler kalm\u0131\u015f olabilece\u011fini tahmin ederek inceden bir \u201cOf!\u201d \u00e7ekiyorum.<\/p>\n

30\u2019lu ya\u015flar\u0131mda anne olma maceras\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve kendimi bulmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m hayat\u0131mdan \u00e7ok memnunum, fakat \u00d6zdemir Asaf\u2019\u0131n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131daki \u015fiirini okuyunca erken 20\u2019li ya\u015flar\u0131ma, kendimden ba\u015fka kimsenin sorumlulu\u011funu ta\u015f\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, az d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm \u00e7ok ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnlere dair s\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131z\u0131m bir nostaljiye kap\u0131l\u0131yorum:<\/p>\n

PAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l bir gemiydim eskiden.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u0130nan\u0131rd\u0131m saadetli yolculuklara.<\/em><\/p>\n

Adalar var zannederdim g\u00fcne\u015fli, maavi, dertsiz.<\/em><\/p>\n

B\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0131z\u0131mla ko\u015fard\u0131m dalgalara.<\/em><\/p>\n

O zaman beni g\u00f6rseydiniz.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ben p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l bir gemiydim eskiden.<\/em><\/p>\n

Beni o zaman g\u00f6rseydiniz<\/em><\/p>\n

Siz de gelirdiniz pe\u015fimden.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ama \u015fimdi \u015fu ak\u015fam saatinde<\/em><\/p>\n

Son liman kendim, bu d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm,<\/em><\/p>\n

Bilmi\u015f, bulmu\u015f, anlam\u0131\u015f.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hat\u0131r\u0131mda, bir vakitler g\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yoluna can serdi\u011fim o ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u015eimdi, \u015fu ak\u015fam saatinde<\/em><\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fcyorum g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f, ge\u00e7irmi\u015f, atlatm\u0131\u015f,<\/em><\/p>\n

G\u00f6zlerin doymayan sahilinde. <\/em><\/p>\n

Y\u0131ld\u0131z\u2019\u0131n hikayesinin romantik prensi; bu \u015fiiri yazarken az da olsa e\u015finin Avrupa\u2019da \u00f6zg\u00fcrce gezip foto\u011fraf \u00e7ekti\u011fi, kendini sanat\u0131na adad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlardan ilham alm\u0131\u015f m\u0131yd\u0131 acaba? Ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc sevdi\u011fi kad\u0131n\u0131n foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u0131rakmas\u0131 konusunda? Her biri birbirinden vurucu \u015fiirlerini yazmaya devam ederken kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi sanat\u0131ndan uzakla\u015fmas\u0131 onu da \u00fczm\u00fc\u015f m\u00fcyd\u00fc? Bilemiyoruz, o k\u0131sm\u0131 istedi\u011fimiz gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek bize kalm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Masallar\u0131n sonunda g\u00f6kten \u00fc\u00e7 elma d\u00fc\u015fer ya hani\u2026 Bu masal\u0131nkinde \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fczel evlat, \u00f6l\u00fcme kadar s\u00fcren bir a\u015fk ve y\u00fczlerce \u015fiir d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden! (Fakat bir o kadar da foto\u011fraf d\u00fc\u015fmemi\u015f, kaybolmu\u015f, mahrum etmi\u015f bizi kendisinden.) Haydi bir elma da biz eksik kalan, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131p evde kalan, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da akl\u0131 evde kalan, i\u015fte mesaiye kalan, tutkusunun pe\u015finde bin bir g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle kalan can\u0131m annelerin ba\u015f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn!<\/p>\n

NOT: \u0130stanbul Modern\u2019deki Y\u0131ld\u0131z Moran\u2019\u0131n foto\u011fraflar\u0131ndan olu\u015fan Bir Da\u011f Masal\u0131 sergisi 12 May\u0131s\u2019a kadar gezilebilir.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2666<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tek ba\u015f\u0131na Londra\u2019ya foto\u011fraf e\u011fitimi almaya gitmi\u015f, orada e\u011fitimini tamamlay\u0131p tiyatrolarda foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131 olarak \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, ilk sergisinde eserlerinin tamam\u0131 sat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, G\u00fcney Avrupa\u2019da bir seyahate \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131na devam etmi\u015f, \u0130ngiltere\u2019de tam be\u015f sergi a\u00e7t\u0131ktan sonra \u00fclkesine d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f bir T\u00fcrk kad\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde bile etkileyici bir hik\u00e2ye, de\u011fil mi? Bir de bu kad\u0131n\u0131n t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 foto\u011fraf\u0131n daha yeni […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":35,"featured_media":7608,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,41],"tags":[260,327,339,340,438,499,506,825],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7600"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/35"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7600\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7608"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}