{"id":6140,"date":"2018-06-13T11:04:35","date_gmt":"2018-06-13T14:04:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dijitaltopuklar.com\/s\/?p=6140"},"modified":"2018-06-13T11:04:35","modified_gmt":"2018-06-13T14:04:35","slug":"ozkoruma-ve-ozsavunma-hakki-uzerine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/2018\/06\/ozkoruma-ve-ozsavunma-hakki-uzerine\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00d6zkoruma ve \u00d6zsavunma Hakk\u0131 \u00dczerine"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Yeti\u015fkinler d\u00fcnyas\u0131, \u00e7ocuklardan ve ergenlerden uysall\u0131\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131 s\u0131ra ko\u015fulsuz sayg\u0131 ve itaat bekler. \u0130\u00e7inde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z toplumda, yeti\u015fkinler ve \u00e7ocuklar aras\u0131nda g\u00fcce, hiyerar\u015fiye dayal\u0131 bir ili\u015fki hakimdir. G\u00fc\u00e7 her daim yeti\u015fkindedir. B\u00f6ylesi bir ili\u015fkilenme bi\u00e7iminde \u00e7ocuk; yeti\u015fkine kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kman\u0131n, itiraz etmenin, rahats\u0131z oldu\u011fu durumlar\u0131 ifade etmenin, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlatman\u0131n, \u201chay\u0131r\u201d demenin \u201csayg\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k\u201d ve \u201cay\u0131p\u201d olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenir. Di\u011fer yandan, \u00f6zellikle evlerde ve okullarda \u015fiddet \u00fczerine konu\u015fulurken; <em>\u201c\u015fiddet \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fcd\u00fcr, hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde kabul edilemez; hi\u00e7 kimseye sesini y\u00fckseltemez, ba\u011f\u0131ramazs\u0131n, kimseyi itemezsin, kimseye vuramazs\u0131n\u201d<\/em> gibi tek y\u00f6nl\u00fc mesajlar verilir. <strong>B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar \u00e7ocuklara ve ergenlere; hem yeti\u015fkinlerle hem akranlar\u0131yla kurduklar\u0131 ili\u015fkilerde kendini korumak i\u00e7in ses \u00e7\u0131karman\u0131n, kendini savunman\u0131n k\u00f6t\u00fc ve yanl\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrebilir.<\/strong> Bu da tehdit ve tehlikelere kar\u015f\u0131 savunmas\u0131z kalmalar\u0131na neden olur.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7ocuklarla \u015fiddet, \u015fiddet t\u00fcrleri ve \u015fiddetsiz ileti\u015fim yollar\u0131 \u00fczerine konu\u015fmak elbette \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir. Ancak bunun yan\u0131 s\u0131ra; rahats\u0131z olduklar\u0131, iyi hissetmedikleri, tehlike alt\u0131nda kald\u0131klar\u0131 durumlarda -kar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131ndaki ki\u015fi bir yeti\u015fkin olsa bile- \u201c\u00f6zkoruma ve \u00f6zsavunma hakk\u0131\u201dna sahip olduklar\u0131n\u0131 da anlatmak gerekir. \u00c7ocuklar; bir ba\u015fkas\u0131 \u00fczerinde g\u00fc\u00e7 uygulamak \u00fczere ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirilen \u015fiddet davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ile kendini koruma ve savunma aras\u0131ndaki fark\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmelidir. <strong>\u00d6zkoruma ve \u00f6zsavunma dendi\u011finde akla sadece fiziksel olan gelmemelidir.<\/strong> S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131mlay\u0131p ifade etmek, s\u0131n\u0131r ihlallerini bak\u0131\u015fla, beden diliyle ya da s\u00f6zle durdurmak, kararl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde \u201chay\u0131r\u201d demek, zarar veren ili\u015fkileri kesmek, baz\u0131 durumlarda ba\u011f\u0131rmak gibi davran\u0131\u015flar da kendini koruman\u0131n ve savunman\u0131n i\u00e7indedir.<\/p>\n<p>Yeti\u015fkinler olarak \u00e7ocuklara anlatt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zla g\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015famdaki tutum ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7o\u011fu zaman \u00e7eli\u015fir; bu da \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n kafas\u0131n\u0131 kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r. \u00d6rne\u011fin; <em>\u201c\u00e7ocuk olarak haklar\u0131n var\u201d<\/em> bilgisini payla\u015f\u0131p bu haklar\u0131 korumamak, hatta ihlal etmek bir \u00e7eli\u015fkidir. Benzer \u015fekilde, onlara sadece \u00f6zkoruma ve \u00f6zsavunma hakk\u0131na sahip olduklar\u0131n\u0131 anlatmak yetmez. Bu hakk\u0131 kullanan \u00e7ocuk ya da ergen kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda yeti\u015fkinin nas\u0131l bir tutum sergileyece\u011fi de \u00f6nemlidir. B\u00f6yle bir durumda \u00e7ocu\u011fa tepki g\u00f6stermek; (bir bak\u0131\u015f, mimik, s\u00f6z ya da davran\u0131\u015fla) ona yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n yanl\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu hissettirmek, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrmek kafa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ve zarar vericidir. Bu konuyu bir \u00f6rnek \u00fczerinden anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Cinsel e\u011fitim \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm okullardan birinde, s\u0131n\u0131f \u00f6\u011fretmenleri 4. s\u0131n\u0131flarla bedensel s\u0131n\u0131rlar, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 koruyabilme, hay\u0131r deme hakk\u0131 gibi konularla ilgili \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar yap\u0131yorlard\u0131. Olduk\u00e7a \u00f6nemli buldu\u011fum bu koruyucu-\u00f6nleyici \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar s\u00fcrerken, iki \u00e7ocuk ve s\u0131n\u0131f \u00f6\u011fretmeni aras\u0131nda ge\u00e7en bir konu\u015fmaya \u015fahit olmu\u015ftum.<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6\u011fretmenin yan\u0131na gelen \u00e7ocuklardan biri olduk\u00e7a \u00f6fkeli g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Yan\u0131ndaki \u00e7ocu\u011fu i\u015faret ederek, <em>\u201cbana s\u00fcrekli isim tak\u0131yor, ka\u00e7 kez istemiyorum, rahats\u0131z oluyorum, yapma, yapamazs\u0131n, ben sana yapsam ho\u015funa gider mi dedim ama devam ediyor, hatta yeni yeni isimler takmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u201d<\/em> diyerek gergin bir \u015fekilde olay\u0131 anlatmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Tam bu s\u0131rada di\u011fer \u00e7ocuk araya girerek <em>\u201c\u00f6\u011fretmenim az \u00f6nce bana kes sesini art\u0131k, sus diye \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131\u201d <\/em>dedi. \u00d6\u011fretmen ilk olarak rahats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ifade eden \u00e7ocu\u011fa d\u00f6nerek <em>\u201carkada\u015f\u0131na ba\u011f\u0131rman kesinlikle kabul edilemez, \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemen gerekiyor\u201d<\/em> dedi. Ona \u00f6z\u00fcr dilettikten sonra di\u011fer \u00e7ocu\u011fa d\u00f6nerek <em>\u201csen de isim takt\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemelisin\u201d<\/em> dedi ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 bar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p konuyu \u201ctatl\u0131ya ba\u011flad\u0131\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Bu olay; hem \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00f6zsavunma hakk\u0131n\u0131 kullanma bi\u00e7imine, hem de bu hakk\u0131 kullanan \u00e7ocuk kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda yeti\u015fkinin kafa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 tutumuna iyi bir \u00f6rnek. \u00c7ocuk, bir s\u00fcredir ya\u015famakta oldu\u011fu s\u0131n\u0131r ihlalini -tam da \u00f6\u011fretmeninin derslerde ona \u00f6\u011fretti\u011fi gibi- kararl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde hay\u0131r diyerek durdurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor, ihlali durduramad\u0131\u011f\u0131 noktada sesini y\u00fckselterek \u00f6zsavunma hakk\u0131n\u0131 kullan\u0131yor, sonras\u0131nda da yine derslerde \u00f6\u011fretildi\u011fi \u015fekilde \u201cg\u00fcvendi\u011fi bir yeti\u015fkinden\u201d konuyla ilgili destek istiyor. Konuyu dinleyen \u00f6\u011fretmenin ilk olarak s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 ihlal edilen \u00e7ocu\u011fa y\u00f6nelerek <em>\u201cba\u011f\u0131rman kesinlikle kabul edilemez\u201d <\/em>demesi, yani bu tepkiyi bir \u015fiddet davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 olarak ele almas\u0131 her iki \u00e7ocu\u011fun da \u015fiddet ile \u00f6zsavunma aras\u0131ndaki fark\u0131 anlamland\u0131rmalar\u0131n\u0131 zorla\u015ft\u0131racakt\u0131r. \u00d6\u011fretmenin yapmas\u0131 gereken; \u00f6ncelikle arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u201chay\u0131r\u201dlar\u0131n\u0131 dikkate almayan, rahats\u0131z edici davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 durdurmayan, s\u0131n\u0131r ihlal etmeye devam eden \u00e7ocu\u011fa bu davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n \u201ckabul edilemez oldu\u011funu\u201d s\u00f6ylemek; baz\u0131 durumlarda ba\u011f\u0131rman\u0131n, ses y\u00fckseltmenin \u015fiddet de\u011fil, kendini ve s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 koruma davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 olabilece\u011fini a\u00e7\u0131klamakt\u0131r. <strong>Bu t\u00fcr bir yakla\u015f\u0131m her iki \u00e7ocu\u011fu da hem s\u0131n\u0131rlara sayg\u0131 duyma, hem de kendini koruma anlam\u0131nda g\u00fc\u00e7lendirecektir.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Di\u011fer t\u00fcm canl\u0131lar gibi insan da ya\u015famda m\u00fccadele etme, kendini ve s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 koruma gibi do\u011fal yetilere sahiptir. Yeti\u015fkinlerin sorumlulu\u011fu; \u00e7ocuklardan ve ergenlerden ko\u015fulsuz uysall\u0131k ve itaat bekleyerek \u00f6zkoruma ve \u00f6zsavunmaya hizmet eden yetilerini k\u00f6reltmek de\u011fil, bu yetilerin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmesine yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>* Bu yaz\u0131; Cinsel \u015eiddetle M\u00fccadele Derne\u011fi b\u00fclteni \u2018\u015eifal\u0131 Bilgiler\u2019in Aral\u0131k 2017 say\u0131s\u0131nda yay\u0131nlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u2666<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yeti\u015fkinler d\u00fcnyas\u0131, \u00e7ocuklardan ve ergenlerden uysall\u0131\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131 s\u0131ra ko\u015fulsuz sayg\u0131 ve itaat bekler. \u0130\u00e7inde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z toplumda, yeti\u015fkinler ve \u00e7ocuklar aras\u0131nda g\u00fcce, hiyerar\u015fiye dayal\u0131 bir ili\u015fki hakimdir. G\u00fc\u00e7 her daim yeti\u015fkindedir. B\u00f6ylesi bir ili\u015fkilenme bi\u00e7iminde \u00e7ocuk; yeti\u015fkine kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kman\u0131n, itiraz etmenin, rahats\u0131z oldu\u011fu durumlar\u0131 ifade etmenin, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlatman\u0131n, \u201chay\u0131r\u201d demenin \u201csayg\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k\u201d ve \u201cay\u0131p\u201d olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenir. Di\u011fer [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":93,"featured_media":6687,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[46,8,41],"tags":[186,193,607],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6140"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/93"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6140"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6140\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perihanciragoz.com\/dijitaltopuklar\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}